H-J and Daddy's Space Adventure

 

H-J in her Space Helmet

Daddy in his Space Helmet

H-J and Daddy ready for take off - Space Adventure

 

 

Viedo of H-J and Daddy's Space Adventure

I have been blessed with a best friend who not only loves and cares for me but is also the best dad in the world to our 3 girls.  Hannah-Joy is always asking me about daddy and to say that they are best friends well just look at this picture.

 

 

 

A few weeks ago Brian's office held it's summer party and Brian and H-J had a chance to get some special time together swimming in the pool. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Of course we can not forget Cheyanne and Izabella

 





 

The Most Important People In My Life!!!!!

I haven Real Life Gummy Bears

Our Super Model

Hannah-Joy and her favorite person DADDY!!!!



Hopes and Dreams Do Come True

I know this is going to sound crazy but I am more and more and more in love with my kids and husband every day.  When we lost the baby my world pretty much crumbled around me and because of the love and support that my husband has showed me I am so in love with him and our marriage is stronger than it has ever been.  I have so much more confidence in my parenting ability, and know now more than ever that I am doing the best job that I can with them.  They are my life and getting to be a stay at home mom and spend my days with them is better than any job and any amount of money that someone could give me. I look at them and I just want to make every dream come true, I want to give them the best upbringing that I can give them, I never ever want them to ever wonder if I love them because I show them affection every day multiple times a day.  I seriously every chance I get hold them as tight as I can and play as much as I can and am just loving them with every being in my heart, soul and body will allow me.

 It’s amazing to me how something can change your life in just one moment and then change your world for ever. 

If you keep up with me on facebook then you know that poor little Cheyanne has a double ear infection so she is pretty miserable but is not on antibiotics and will start feeling better soon but for now is a little on the fussy side, Izabella has one of the nastiest diaper rashes that I have ever seen and it’s all due to teething. Cheyanne is super close to crawling she is up on her hands and knees rocking all she needs to do is figure out how to maneuver and she will be off and crawling.  Izabella is babbling nonstop, I think Cheyanne is going to crawl first but Izabella is def going to talk first and to me I think it’s awesome. Hannah-Joy is finally starting to talk more and praise the lord because with limited communications between us it was getting more and more difficult. She is so loveable and truly a the JOY of our lives and it just blooming into this amazing little girl who is going to set the world on fire with her personality and looks.

As I said Brian and I are doing amazing now only in our marriage but also in our everyday lives.  Brian is excelling in his job and making more and more great decision to secure our future. I have been back on my meds for the last week and a half and boy what a difference it has made, I am finally starting to feel like myself again and together we have some decision to make regarding our future but for now we are leaving it up to God and taking it one step at a time. 

Well I should get going, hope you all have a great weekend and making all your hopes and dreams come trule!!!!!!

Playing Paper Dolls

I Will OverCome

I had a very long talk with Brian when he got home from work; I finally came clean and told him about how I have been feeling.

I have been scrubbing my house for the past 2 days and have done every ounce of laundry that we own. Usually when I am upset and angry for some reason cleaning house is very therapeutic and usually I am able to just bury my sorrow in work and with in time I get over it and move on.  So after 2 days of cleaning and trying to bury my emotions it all came to a head this afternoon.

Unless you have lost a child no one will ever understand the stress and emotion that come with it.  For the past 2 weeks I have been angry, bitter, emotional, upset and most of all I have been taking it all out on my husband.  I was so angry over the fact that I lost the baby and needed someone to blame so I blamed Brian and took all of my anger and emotion out on him and it caused a lot of stress on my marriage.  The sad part is that it is no one’s fault my body is just not capable of having any more kids and truth be told I should not have carried the 3 girls. 

 I guess I will never understand why it is that I lost the baby but I do know one thing, in time I will be ok but the thing is it’s not going to go away over night and it’s not going to go away by cleaning my house and doing laundry, yes it does take my mind off of things for about 1 or 2 hours but no matter how hard I try my feelings and emotions are not going to go away and this is something that I am actually going to deal with. 

So I finally expressed to him how much hurt and pain I am in with the loss of our baby, and how not being able to hold our kid, no words can express how sad I was when I was told that the baby had no heartbeat.  The night that I was rushed to the hospital, because of the bleeding I was beyond scared; I remember looking into Brian’s eyes and thinking why is this happening and can you please just make this all better. I told him how angry I was and sad I am that we will never get to enjoy the ultrasound of finding out whether it was a boy or a girl, we won’t get to pick out the crib bedding and most of all we will never get to experience that moment when you hear that cry for the first time and the moment when they place the baby in your arms and you look and see this miracle that you made that was a part of you and him. This is a pain that I have never experienced and a pain that no one can make better except for looking to God for the strength that he will heal my heart and make me understand what is going on. 

Apparently while I was in surgery Brian had a long conversation with Grandma Connie and she stated that Brian was scared to death that he was going to lose me and that I am his whole world and he was so scared but the thing is he has never once said any of this to me but it really made me think how grateful I am to have him in my life and how much he changed my life for the better.  He told me tonight how truly scared he was and that I don’t think I understood just how close I was to them doing a complete hysterectomy because of complications and bleeding. He told me that he would never forgive himself if anything would have happened to me.   The reality is that I will never have any more kids of my own and this makes me extremely sad but the reality is that I have Joy, Hope and Grace that I need to be a mom too and no matter how much this pain hurts it is nothing compared to the pain that my kids would feel if anything were to happen to me.

Thankfully I have an amazing family that is trying so hard to help me find my way through and at times  I feel as though people expect me to just put this behind me and move on and in time the healing will happen and I will be able to find my way back to happiness that I had before, but for now it is ok for me to take the time to deal with all of the emotions and anger that I am going through and that I don’t need to bury them and try and pretend that everything is ok when the reality is I am in pain.

Please forgive me for the honesty of this post but if I can’t be honest about this then how can I teach my girls to be honest to me when they are feeling hurt, angry and upset about the disappointments and trials of their life.  

As my daddy always tells me to remember Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength”



Every now and then, in the middle of the constant barrage of crap that’s just pissing us all off these days, we come across a story, a feat, an event that just makes us stop in our tracks. This was one for me.

Cody Green was a 12-year kid in Indiana who was diagnosed with leukemia at 22 months old. He loved the Marines, and his parents said he drew strength and courage from the Marine Corps. as he bravely fought the battle into remission three times. Although he was cancer-free at the time, the chemotherapy had lowered his immune system and he developed a fungus infection that attacked his brain. Two weeks ago, as he struggled to fend off that infection in the hospital, the Marines wanted to show how much they respected his will to live, his strength, honor and courage. They presented Cody with Marine navigator wings and named him an honorary member of the United States Marine Corps. For one Marine, that wasn’t enough ... so that night, before Cody Green passed away, he took it upon himself to stand guard at Cody’s hospital door all night long, 8 hours straight.

 Nowhere on the face of this planet is there a country so blessed as we to have men and women such as this. I wish I could personally tell this Marine how proud he makes me to be an American. God ... I do so love this country.

~~Lori Boxer for The Blacksphere